House of Horror
by arwenishtar
Summary: Scary is supposed to be fun, right? That's what our Night at the Museum friends are about to find out. For one particular pharaoh, the night prove slightly harrowing. A TeddyXAhk adventure.


"Ready everyone?" Larry Daley called out to the gang. Everyone was standing in line to see the House of Disaster- a line made even longer by the addition of five, fidgety new people to it at the very back. Larry and Nick were at the head of it, for Larry would be paying for the tickets (easy enough after winning an argument with Ahk about how one no longer paid with gold these days). Sacagawea, Teddy, Ahkmenrah, and Attila had it easy- the worst for them was they had to change into regular clothes in order to blend in, which was neigh impossible with the pharaoh ogling every cell phone in sight and Sacagawea initially wondering off to inspect some local herbs. Larry was seriously reconsidering his latest idea for an exciting outing; it was bad enough when the exhibits were restricted to exploring their local park, where somebody still occasionally managed to get into mischief. Last Friday, he'd had the _brilliant_ idea of bringing them all to a haunted house, after discovering most of them didn't know about Halloween. Why not? What was the worst that could happen?

Jed and Octavius had managed to sneak in too, though for them it was a matter of whining and pouting until Larry finally relented, despite Octavius insisting he'd be quite content to wait and train his soldiers at home. For them, they only had to hide in the pharaoh's pocket to be in line. Easy peasy.

"Excited, Ockie?" the cowboy asked.

"Of course," Octavius rumbled loudly. However, Jed didn't miss his friend's tightened grip on his sword.

"It'll be fine, Ockie, I guarantee it. Before the night's over, you'll be begging to go through it again!" When the general continued looking hesitant and despondent, he added, "Besides, at least we get in for free."

" _Swear_ we shall not be separated, no matter what?" Octavius wished to hit himself after asking this- normally he'd never have asked such a thing. Romans must be brave enough to march into danger alone, if need be!

"I won't leave your side," Jed promised. Their clasped hands sealed the agreement.

He himself was shaking with eagerness- he'd read enough about modern Halloween traditions on Wikipedia to steel himself for the 'terrors' they'd encounter that night. Octavius, on the other hand, was far less thrilled with the chosen activity.

He wasn't the only one.

"I fail to understand how this could be mistaken for entertainment," Ahkmenrah grumbled, standing in line behind Teddy.

The president turned around. "This is a new tradition for me as well, lad, but surely it won't be so terrible? I myself am looking forward to it!"

"It mocks the dead," The pharaoh finished, shuddering in the wind. "Surely that is unwise?"

"Ah. Forgive me, I'm still learning of your customs." Teddy wasn't fooled; he recognized Ahkmenrah's subtle, characteristic pout as an undisguisable hint that he was uncomfortable. "Warm enough? Larry probably has a spare jacket he'd lend you." Despite his down vest and fleeced hoodie, the pharaoh shivered; apparently his body still hadn't acclimated to New York's crisp air.

"I am well enough." Internally, Ahkmenrah was beating himself over with a metaphysical switch- _how_ had he managed to be persuaded by the Guardian's son to participate in this foolishness? Nicky had made it sound important and fun at the time, and when he'd discussed it with Larry later, he'd agreed to come along on the excursion, if only to get some more fresh air.

"I understand your trepidation, but please try to reserve judgement until after the experience. Who knows? You might enjoy yourself."

"Perhaps," Ahkmenrah trailed off. As he followed the king's wide eyes to their destination, Teddy couldn't suppress a shudder of unease as he stared at the supposedly haunted building before them. It was an old, withering, mustard-yellow Victorian mansion comprised of three rickety stories, stacked atop each other, a leaning mockery of a wedding cake. What sane person would want to enter such a place? The excited whispers of the house's reputation as an insane asylum and hospital only added to his anxiety. When he saw the signs warning against people with claustrophobia entering, his resolve began to wither; Ahkmenrah's condition had improved little since his release, despite every attempt to cure it. Perhaps the pharaoh had a point- mocking the dead was painfully taboo, even today. Nonetheless, it was best to put his bravest front forward, and he clamped Ahkmenrah's shoulder lightly, reassuringly.

"If you want to wait in the van, I'll understand. I won't judge you for it! But if you chose to stay, know I will not leave your side. The wise man faces his fears whenever he can."

Something about Teddy's calm demeanor helped reassure him, and he stopped shivering. At least he relaxed enough to listen to the house's tour guide explain the rules to all of them.

"Ready everyone? Remember, these are actors, not ghosts, so there's nothing to be really scared of. No hitting or fighting back! This is meant to be fun, not dangerous. All right?" When the exhibits nodded, Larry grinned. "Ok, like the guide said, everybody in pairs, and _stay with your partner_. If you get lost, someone will come and find you. Happy Halloween!"

Teddy and Ahk immediately buddied up; their mouths set in a grim lines, emerged first into the House of Disaster.

* * *

Of course the first thing they endured was a loud blast of air in their faces. Ahkmenrah squinted, relieved it was only air and nothing more harmful. "Where is our path?" The goal of the expedition was to make all the way up to the the third floor and back without getting lost, their path illuminated merely by a flashlight. To make matters even more challenging, they'd been warned the 'ghouls' and 'ghosts' would try to grab their light source.

"Up the stairs, I think," Teddy replied, barely above a whisper. Huddled together, they headed for the staircase. Ahkmenrah began relaxing as they mounted it without difficulty- perhaps it wouldn't be so frightening after all.

Then the nurse leaped out in front of them. Both Teddy and Ahkmenrah let out yelps of shock and fright, nearly tumbling backwards as she jumped out at them, screaming and giggling maniacally. "Ah, the patients are here! Finally, we've been expecting you! Walk this way, quickly now before the doctor arrives! Hehe!"

"Should we follow her?" Ahkmenrah hissed.

"We have little choice, I fear." Already, they could hear more screeches, bangs, and footsteps encroaching from the darkness. "Remember lad, they're not true ghosts- merely actors. That is what Lawrence assured me."

Reluctantly, Ahkmenrah pointed the flashlight at the nurse's retreating back and together, the pair followed her into the shadowy hallway, which was far too long and narrow for the pharaoh's liking. The walls closed in around him as he burrowed into the president's side. "Teddy, I- I cannot go on."

"You must, lad! I'm right beside you," Teddy said, keeping the tremble out of his own voice. Ahkmenrah proceeded forward, jumping in sync with the bangs and shouts, crying out when he saw the silhouettes of long-dead patients pleading for aid. Both men heaved mild sighs of relief as they reached the end, and both sombered up as they realized they had farther to travel. He was proud of himself until a zombie grabbed their flashlight.

Sacagawea had to admit it, the actors were good. Very good.

She had almost jumped out of her skin twice since entering the old asylum, and Attila, the courageous, war-hardened Hun, was trembling like a leaf beside her. She made a point of keeping her features poised as possible while the skeletons, ghouls. and zombies jumped out at them. Quite a few times, she actually did jump, but had managed to avoid screaming so far. Close calls, though.

Finally, they entered a fog-darkened room. The room was so badly drenched in vapors, it was impossible to see past her outstretched hand! Meanwhile, Attila was clinging to her arm with his battle grip, numbing her arm off. "It's all right, Attila, we're almost through, I'm sure of it." The Hun could only nod his agreement as they proceeded.

Jed and Octavius weren't helping matters. Jed's courage vaporized as they all endured the shrieks and groans emanating from the very building itself. "Ockie, I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For w-what, my friend?"

"For draggin ya into this!" He hissed. The Roman offered his hand, and the two slunk down further into Attila's pocket. Hiding was good, hiding was safe.

The fog oozed around them suffocating and blinding them. They didn't see the dummy sitting in the corner, quietly taking notes. Indeed, they didn't see her until she leaped from her seat and screeched in their faces! "He's coming! They're coming! Move FAAASTERR!" She growled. No more convincing was necessary- Sacagawea and Attila fled for their lives like Hellhounds bounding after them.

Left alone, enshrouded by darkness, Teddy and Ahk huddled closer together, frozen as if they were locked away in a freezer. "T-T-Teddy..."

"Hush! I can hear them approaching!" More huddling, followed by some shuddery breathes from the pharaoh.

Teddy was the first to shake himself back to sense. "Brrah! Look at us,trembling here like a couple of ninnies! Come now, let's-" He was rudely interrupted by some cackles as they were suddenly surrounded on all sides by the ghostly inmates, who started waving about their ghostly shrouds in the men's faces. Screaming, Teddy and Ahkmenrah stumbled down the hallway as fast as they were able. It wasn't terrifying until the actors separated them.

"TEDDY!" Ahkmenrah cried as he tried to grab the president's hand. All he managed to capture briefly was the Teddy's fingertips as he was dragged away. The pharaoh would've slunk to the floor in despair, but the other 'ghosts' were still mocking him, albeit from afar. He heard a door slam, and then silence. _They, took him, they just captured him. What is this mad place?!_ Well, they wouldn't have him for long. Wishing more than ever he had his tablet to illuminate direction, Ahkmenrah merged into the inkiness in search of his friend.

Little did Sacagawea and Attila realize they were being herded. When they finally were able to slow down, they found themselves in a basement morphed into a morgue. It didn't help that, upon closer examination, the bodies sported mutilations, as if they'd been experimented on. The milder figures sported extra limbs and one even had spider's fangs protruding from his mouth. As finishing decorations, strange, rubbery sacks hung from the ceiling at eye-level, constantly halting their progress.

"What is this place? Is this truly how they assist their sick?" For her part, Sacagawea was disgusted. Attila guessed they'd wandered into where the black sorcery was produced. Both barely remembered what Larry had told them earlier- it was all fake. This did not keep them from running out of the room when a mutated surgeon popped up from his wheelchair. "I did the best I could to cure them! I did! I swear I did!.." He babbled after them.

 _Five minutes later:_

"Well, you certainly sorted them out!" Teddy said as he and Ahkmenrah dashed down the cobwebbed, misty corridor. He himself had almost fled when he saw the look on the young man's face! The only time he'd seen Ahk that angry was when his tomb was wrecked. He almost pitied the actors! The pharaoh had actually flipped a couple over in his mission to free the president from the broom closet they'd locked him up in. "I didn't think ghosts and undead inmates could run so swiftly!"

For his part, Ahkmenrah barely remembered the skirmish; he only remembered feeling lost, alone, and panicky, then subduing those emotions in order to save Teddy. He'd also forced himself ignore the mental images of what those monsters might be doing to Teddy. He'd even forgotten about lacking a flashlight! In that instant, the haunted house had become all to horrifying. As it was, he was shocked and relieved the monsters had fled so quickly; he'd rushed at them with a roar and a makeshift pipe and prayed for the best. Had he _really_ flipped a couple?

"Easy now, steady," Teddy reminded him, gently forcing Ahkmenrah to take deep, soothing breaths. The corridor was narrowing drastically, and Ahk had begun to notice. Right at the end of it, the floor swallowed their feet and the walls suddenly swelled towards them. "Easy now, the floor is merely soft, like a marsh! All of it is fake, meant for our entertainment."

The pharaoh was not amused. He felt his lungs practically close up as they proceeded. How much longer could he last? Had they been swallowed by a beast had failed to notice?! When the walls swelled inward a second time, he bolted through a hidden door, yanking Teddy behind himself.

 _Could there not be at least ONE light?!_ He wondered silently. Now, he and Teddy were trapped in what appeared to be another hallway. This house was vaster than the exterior hinted! How many rooms and passages did it contain? By now, the scares had dwindled down to the specters jumping out and giggling or screaming at the- mercifully subdued.

"Nearly there," Teddy reassured him.

Suddenly, they both jumped as they came face-to-face- with themselves. "It's a mirror! We're in the mirror maze! Lawrence warned me about this part," Teddy smiled as they approached the glass. Ahkmenrha was fascinated by the way his reflection distorted and grew, depending on his position; after everything they'd endured, this was definitely the most amusing part. Until the clown jumped out at them, giggling in a way that hinted at more dire things to come. ""follow me," she said. If not for the blood-stained ax, she'd have been cute. Reluctantly, Ahkmenrah and Teddy followed her around the five consecutive bends and six sharp, crisp air blasts before she disappeared through heavy, black from the maze, both friends sighed in relief. "The worst is over!" Teddy cried.

Not really. "RUN!" Ahkmenrah shouted as two masked individuals chased them out of the House of Disaster wielding whirring, buzzing weapons.

"So, did you guys have fun?" Larry asked the exhibits once the tours were over. Sacagawea shrugged while Attila bluffed he'd enjoyed himself. He missed Sacagawea raising her eyebrow at him; she said nothing.

"Guardian, the actors attacked Teddy!"

"Wait, what happened?"

Having regained his composure, Ahkmenrah recounted the incident when he and Teddy were briefly separated. Larry stood in shock before explaining, "They're not supposed to touch you. Hang on, I'm going to talk to the manager about this." A short time later, both he and the manager returned; the manager appeared as puzzled as Larry was.

"First, I apologize for what happened to you, sir. Your friend is right, our policy is very clear: our employees aren't supposed to touch you, and you're not supposed to touch them. What happened tonight, I can't explain it. The third floor was supposed to be vacant tonight! We're short on actors, so that floor was supposed to be mostly special effects and such. No actors were working there tonight. I don't know who lead you up there or grabbed you, but I assure you, we will be investigating. I'm very sorry! Thank you for informing us. We'll make sure this doesn't happen again." She left, shaking her head and muttering about pranksters and hooligans ruining her business.

Larry went to check on the rest of the gang, leaving Ahkmenrah and Teddy staring at each other open-mouthed. "But if it was not employees who frightened us..." Teddy began. "It couldn't have been..."

"As I said, one should never mock the dead."

Laughing off the incident the best he could, Teddy clapped Ahkmenrah's shoulder. "Well now, invigorating experience, eh lad?"

"Certainly. One we shall never repeat. No!" He added when Teddy looked ready to interrupt him. "Never again."

* * *

 **Happy Halloween everybody! Happy All Souls' Day! Happy Day of the Dead! :)**


End file.
